Half-Understandable

That's what our pediatrician typed into her laptop when I took Henry for his 30 month check-up. What? Under "language development," she said he was HALF-UNDERSTANDABLE. I'm sure that falls under normal for most two-and-a-half-year-olds, but shoot.

He wakes up talking and doesn't stop except to eat or sleep, and actually says some pretty smart things for a child his age. But that little note on his record just punched me in the gut - am I one of those moms? You know, the ones that when their kids say, "googledy blogiust jsufieh gofhe vhuhsf," they respond with a goo-gooey, "Yes, sweetie, I'll turn on Baby Van Gogh and order take out Moo Shoo Pork for you in just a minute."

I think not. I hope not. I mean, there is a certain charm in kids speaking a language only their moms can understand, and I will admit that there have actually been times when I've called in Calvin to translate what Henry was trying to tell me, but that was weeks ago.

He speaks a lot. He speaks well. He doesn't tantrum for lack of communication skills. He can argue successfully with his brother (and his mom and dad for that matter). He plays a version of 20 Questions with us and can tell knock-knock jokes. I'm not even exaggerating.

But you tell me:

Translate this small list of Henryisms, and if more than half of my commenters get more than half of the answers right, then I'm gonna call that pediatrician and give her a piece of my mind, starting with, "googledy blogiust jsufieh gofhe vhuhsf!!!!"

1. fwed an butt-o (Asks for it repeatedly every morning for the last six or seven weeks, it must be spread thick and folded in half so that it has a "lid" on it - this he tells me in no uncertain but perhaps only half-understandable terms. Every. Morning.)
2. girtle, squirtle and wirtled (the first is not a boy, the second is a glorified rodent, and the third is the sphere on which we live)
3. girtlefwend (which, incidentally, he put together on his own to describe, with one raised eyebrow and a sparkly smile, his new playmate, Sara)
4. Me nah poooopaaayyyyy! (He puts, "Me nah" on the front of lots of sentences these days: "Me nah chubbybubs!" "Me nah stinky pete!" etc.)
5. Plemme have... (insert whatever he wants at the moment)
6. Tanks (This has nothing to do with the translation of this word, but just so you know, he says the "T" like the "C" in Bionce - you know what I mean? It's very cute. And he says it almost without fail when you grant any request.)