4.24.2007

In Which Ornery Reigns Supreme

Our master bathroom is charming. Which means it's small enough to hang on a charm bracelet. It also means the shower stall is miniscule. We bang our elbows on the wall while lathering. And lately, if I don't carefully turn around, I bump the water temp lever with my belly.

Sometimes I notice because the lever jabs me, and I can rub my sore belly button with one hand while quickly pushing the lever back to the right temp with the other. And sometimes I notice only after the water goes freezing...or scalding. It does help me to know that I can move fast when I need to.

But I think if I really wanted help getting moving, I'd prefer to go with this kind of shower shock. Although it does leave me asking all kinds of questions...

But maybe if I used such a soap I would understand why so many people at church in the last two weeks have told me I'm glowing. Ugh. The first few times I was thinking they've got to be kidding. Or more likely just being nice. Then I started thinking maybe they're just a lot more spiritchull than I am, and can see auras and stuff that I can't.

But now I'm really starting to believe that I'm the transcendent one, that (unbeknownst to me) I really must be the absolute goddess of light. I'm going to go with that, and just keep saying, "Oh, thank you."

Because that's so much less offensive than screaming, "It's called Breaking Out, people! Bulging! Lumbering Around! Sweating Like a Pig! Crying For No Reason! All very different from Glowing! Get your verb right!"

What I'd really like is for someone to tell me that I'm looking tremendous. That would make my day, because then I'd know we were all being sincere, mortal, and linguistically accurate. All very important to me right now, obviously.

Calvin is also bothered by too much niceness when he is overly tired, too. We went on a dinner date with Auntie S and Uncle K Saturday night and when we picked the boys up at about 10:30, Cal was past his pleasant limit. Among other complaints, he didn't want to go home, and proceeded to very loudly hate David for picking him up and carrying him to the car.

David was very gentle and patient, even with all the kicking and screaming that went with the hate, and then took it one step further, by answering each "I HATE YOU!!!" with just a bit of a teasing laugh, "That's OK, Cal. I still looooove you."***

It made Cal giggle ever so slightly, mid-wail, the first couple times, but after about the third or fourth time of getting this response, Calvin yelled, "But I HATE you!!! Stop loving me!!! I am not! Going to tell you! Again!!!"

But he did tell him again and when David said, "But I love you" one more time, Calvin screamed, "Stop it! With all! The loving!!!"

So we stopped it with all the loving and just started laughing. And frankly I still think it's hilarious.



***For those of you who might think we are quite permissive in "allowing" a child to say "I hate you" to his parents, be assured that we do take measures to curb it. We know that hate is not a family value. (BTW - Ever read Joey Pigza? That's one of my favorite books ever!) But we've also learned that in the midst of an exhausted tantrum is not when a lesson on respect does a lot of good with a four-year-old, particularly when he doesn't really hate us, he just can't stand himself at the moment. So that's that.

11 comments:

Morning Glory said...

"Cal was past his pleasant limit." Oh yes, I would have to say there have been many times that I've been past my pleasant limit. I've even wished I could throw a tantrum like that. Sigh....

I love your stories.

My Ice Cream Diary said...

You are so smart not to reprimand when they are tired. I forget this golden rule all too often and have useless fights with my kids. I LOVE reading your posts!

Janelle said...

I hear ya! You have to determine if the moment is "teachable" or not.

If that had been my husband, he would have said to me with a smirk, "Now that's just good parenting" and then laughed and laughed!

Angela said...

So, the "i hate you" is more about Calvin than it is you and David? You're so wise...

Stop with all the loving will HAVE to be a phrase you use, well into Cal's 30's. It's classic. I may steal it.

I have been getting the glowing comment a lot recently as well. I got it with my first BOY and not once with my GIRL, so I'm sure this is a boy. Plus, I think it's more of a "Oh lawdy help me, I'm going into the ninth month, I think I'm gonna die" glisten, than it is a glow.

Blog Antagonist said...

I like ornery. I can relate to ornery. I can identify with ornery. I'm kind of like Cal. When I'm grouchy, I don't want Husband to make me feel better, I just want him to let get my bitch on and get it out of my system.

You're so right about the tantrum and lesson thing. You're a wise Mommy! And I'm sure you are glowling.

Jennifer said...

Oh good, I get to be the first one to tell you that you DO look tremendous. You might wonder how I know, but I just do. . . .

Catherine said...

You had me at "Our master bathroom is charming. Which means it's small enough to hang on a charm bracelet."

What a great start to a great post. I definitely need to get out more. It helps to not feel so alone with my small bathroom issues.

Jen said...

This is a funny post. People always said to me, "you are carrying really well..." Which to me sounds like it was the only thing they could think of to say nicer than "dang, you are fat!". Why thank you, I studied at finishing school on how to carry a child...what the baloney?

Sketchy said...

"Stop it! With all! The loving!!!" is classic. Angela is right, that's a phrase destined for the family archives.

PS: I have no idea with how you look right now, but are you writing tremendously.

Julie said...

Yup. Ya gotta give 'em a break when they're really tired, hungry or overexcited. Cute post!

An Ordinary Mom said...

There are just times when you have to ignore the kids and do what is best for their well-being and your own sanity. I commend you for knowing when to do this!