Thursday Thirteen #1

Thirteen “Why’s” of My Own

In honor of one of the most charming habits of young children everywhere...

1. Why do the people at drive-up windows insist on giving one package of ketchup per fry? I had ELEVEN packets the other day for TWO small orders of tater tots. When did ketchup become an endless commodity?

2. Why does getting somewhere new always seem to take so much longer than getting home again? This is a good and curious thing to me.

3. Why does a Buy One Get One Free deal seem better than a 50% off one? Or am I the only one that is decidedly more compulsive over BOGOs than half pricers?

4. Why do home builders think it’s a great idea to wire a light switch in every room to an electrical outlet instead of an actual light fixture? I don’t need a smooth ceiling. I need light. That comes on with a switch that little guys can’t reach. That won’t fall over in climbing adventures, pillow fights and impromptu furniture rearrangement.

5. Why does rubber cement have a stronger bond if you apply it to both surfaces first, let it dry completely, then stick them together, rather than just painting it on and sticking it immediately?

6. Why do people have the idea that backing into parking spaces is some big logistical coup? Save your tactical driving for Alias.

7. Why are caterpillars entirely different colors as caterpillars than they are as butterflies? Are they born with genetic code for both sets of colors? Incidentally, when do caterpillars/butterflies reproduce – as caterpillars or as butterflies?

8. Why did someone ever think tile countertops were a good idea? Does grout not just say, “Grey gunk and Salmonella, come stay awhile?” Clorox wipes can in no way help me get over the lady wiping up her kitchen with a raw chicken or my own culinary foibles.

9. Why foie gras? Doesn’t the image of ducks waddling with their funnel-fed, fig-fattened livers bulging to the ground turn off even the most adventurous wearer of the Emperor’s new clothes? I will never be impressed by it – or taste it – again.

10. Why does Dora YELL everything she says?

11. Why does green salad always taste better when someone else makes it than when I cut the veggies and toss it myself?

12. Why did Jane Austen love Fanny Price the best of all the characters she created? As much as I adore Jane, I couldn't warm up to Fanny in the least. (We're talking the book here, not Hollywood's rendition.)

13. Why do I continue to approach the U-Scan with such optimism?

Links to other Thursday Thirteens!


the lizness said...

I left a comment earlier, where did it go?

anyways. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Angela said...

Why are you asking questions about foie gras and I have never even HEARD of it? And Why does your question about it have me totally intrigued? I like your 13.

Code Yellow Mom said...

Foie Gras is to do with my date for New Years with David in San Diego - a fancy gala at the Coronado hotel that I felt so shmancy going to and one of the six or seven courses was foie gras, which is literally what I described it as in my post. It looked like a perfectly dumped out can of cat food (or maybe can of sardines with catfood consistency), but it also had some kind of strawberry glace on it, and hey, we were being shmancy, so I tasted it anyway. Blech, blech, blech. The duck head I ate in Ukraine was more palatable. But DAvid and I, for months after, and even sometimes now, are brought to irrepressible giggles thinking about the poor ducks they do this to in order to produce such a F-F-F-Fabulous delicacy. Only the F-F-F-French. The ultimate creators of Emperor's new clothes in all their forms. How's that for froth?!

Code Yellow Mom said...

Thanks for liking my 13. I had technical difficulties and messed up the HTML I think, so I didn't get the 83 comments that I was hoping to get from the linkbacks. Sigh.

Angela said...

I must have gotten interrupted during your 13 reading because I just went back and saw two I hadn't seen and they were the most hilarious. Backing into parking a logistical coup and the whole caterpillar/butterfuly conundrum---who thinks about that stuff? You're very funny. Thanks for updating me on the foie gras thing.

Nettie said...

I totally relate to 2,3,4,8,10,11 and 13. But I loved Fanny. And I've never tried fake grass, foie gras, whatever.