More Than I Can Chew

My first day of school is Thursday. I have a huge chunk of Einstein, Euclid and Lucretius to gnaw my way through and hopefully be able to articulate (regurgitate?) before then.

David is bogged down right now with projects that must be finished this week, so he worked part of the weekend and will be home late all week.

Next Tuesday, we are leaving for a long-anticipated trip to Topsail Island to play with David's brother's family - their two little girls are the same ages as Calvin and Henry. I can't wait for a week at the beach, but I'm having a hard time getting my head around the packing and thinking through logistics that has to happen beforehand.

The week after that is the boys' first day of preschool - pending potty training success for Henry.

My house is a mess. I got spoiled for the month David was home, and have come to the hard realization that things will no longer get magically picked up, straightened, or cleaned at night after I retire. Or during the day while I nurse, change, and love on the baby.

Plus, the list of Summer To-Do's? The one that I so ambitiously outlined during my last two months of pregnancy, thinking that once I wasn't lumbering around with a huge belly, I could whip through them, no problem? Not feeling quite so ambitious now.

Meanwhile the boys paint, build, draw, cut, paste, wrestle, throw, and pull stuff apart in very creative but nonetheless quite messy bursts of energy. And raid the refrigerator periodically if I'm not feeding them promptly enough.

It's been hot, hot, hot - too hot to spend a significant time outdoors with little tiny people. And now it's raining like crazy, so we are yet home-bound, and going a little berserk.

Of course I have that nagging guilt that it should not be so hard to keep it together. Nothing that I have to do is THAT huge or difficult, but somehow I feel like everything on my plate is spinning around me at an outrageous speed, and little pieces are flying off the outside edge in every direction.

Why is order so difficult to maintain? How do other people do it? Why can I not concentrate or just apply myself? Why can't everyone and everything just STOP for a minute, so I can get caught up?

Or perhaps, the better question: Why can I not go take a three-day long nap?


Janelle said...

Hang in there! It'll all come together and you'll get in a good groove. And remember you're raising three PEOPLE! It's a hard job, cut yourself some slack. And good luck on the three day nap thing-if you get that worked out tell me your secret! I'll be praying for you this week.

Anonymous said...

You asked how other people manage to maintain order? I think plenty of us are just faking it, to be honest. :-) That's why we ALL need to cut ourselves some slack. :-) Sending lots of encouragement your way...('cause I am sooooo feeling your pain!!!).

Amanda said...

So I've been lurking on your site for a while and thought I would come out from behind the curtain.

I'm the mom of two (almost three) boys. I was just talking to my husband about this issue last night... my fear of life after baby #3 comes in a couple of months. I usually feel very sleep-deprived, cranky, unorganized, depressed, and put a lot of pressure on myself to get my act together which just makes it worse. Heck, I feel that way sometimes already and I haven't even had the baby yet!

The thing that usually works for me is just picking 3 things I want to accomplish during the day and working on those things and forgeting about the rest until another day.

Everything doesn't get done, but I feel good that I at least accomplished a few things I made a goal to do.

Katrina @ Callapidder Days said...

You have a lot on your plate right now, so there is absolutely no need to feel guilty about not getting everything done. I'll confess something to you: I cleaned out my refrigerator today for the first time since Logan was born. And he's 14 months old. :) I mean, I had taken old food out of it before, but this was the first time in a long time that I actually cleaned it. I am not the type of person who has it all together or who can maintain order when life gets crazy. I'm trying to learn that good enough is really good enough.

Anonymous said...

I have no advice but just wanted to say that I have the same thoughts all the time. "Why is order so difficult to maintain? How do other people do it? Why can I not concentrate or just apply myself? Why can't everyone and everything just STOP for a minute, so I can get caught up?" That paragraph sums it up perfectly. I think lots of people feel that way.

The other day it took me 3 hours of seriously focused work to finish one load of dishes, and that was the first time since the baby was born that I was actually able to FINISH a single load of dishes during the day. That's pretty sad considering both of my kids are at pretty easy stages right now.

Good luck with everything, and I hope that things calm down for you guys soon. If I know anything about you, it's that you're very smart and very brave. You'll do a better job of it all than most people would.

Sketchy said...

Is it possible to maintain order when you have a baby and 2 other kids messing things up for you? I must have missed that course. I knew I should have stuck it out and finished college!

Hang in there.

the lizness said...

you're starting to scare me a little. will I never get to do anything again?

megachick said...

oh, the to-do lists.
we have been out of town for the last 5 weekends, and i thought this last weekend would finally give me a chance to get some stuff around the house done.

don'cha know, we went on one itty-bitty trip to the zoo and practically slept for the entire rest of the weekend. the zoo kicked our collective butts.

and yet, and yet, i still feel tired.

Anonymous said...

Smile.....you are on candid camera

Michelle said...

This is not good to hear. I am at the end of my pregnancy and I have one son who is 11 years old, and I feel the same way you do. To think it is only going to get worse. Oh Lord! I feel so tired all the time. It is hard to finish just one load of laundry at times.
I hope things get easier for you! I am sure that they will.

NOBODY said...

Well MY house is immaculate. All the time. And I feed my children full meals three times a day with exact, appropriate portions from the food groups. And I've been able to recently finish reading the last book of a series I started just before the baby was born. Oh, and I need to pick back up on the volunteer work I stopped when we moved...
Not to mention, I never let my 4 year old sit on the toilet for 25 minutes yelling, "i'm doooooone" or my newborn cry for 15 minutes for food or a burp because the sauce I'm making has to be stirred CONSTANTLY. Who the hell has time for that nonsense.
You aren't alone--in any of it. But I want to read. Just read. Is that too much to ask?
Love you!

Unknown said...

Give yourself a break. You are doing much and you have it together (regardless of the crying jags that must happen sometimes).

In regards to preschool--I am sending Kyle and I encourage you to send Henry. He (both of them) has shown that he can do it, and I know that for Kyle he does almost everything better when he's NOT at home. If we have to remove him for a bit later, we will, but I think that 2 days a week he will be able to pull his act together (I'm hoping).

Shannon said...

Excuse me, school? You just had your 3rd baby, and you're starting on a graduate degree? Am I reading you correctly? If so, I look forward to many a blog post about finding balance. I look forward to it--it's one of my major issues as well. Good luck!

Katherine@Raising Five said...

Oh, I'm so glad I popped in for this one. No advice, just sympathy. It's just a very busy time of life. One you will miss some day.